We adopted three siblings three and a half years ago; all came with trauma issues and are registered emotionally disabled. We have dealt with many of these issues with loads of love and attention with strong boundaries, getting additional help from school to assist their education; in addition we have enrolled them in a drama class that works on self esteem and confidence. All these strategies have helped at a certain level love and attention over time has made them feel a little safer educational support has helped, when they have been ready emotionally with their school curriculum drama has supported their need to express themselves in a disciplined and articulate way.
However both our daughters and son still experienced night terrors, bed wetting and soiling. This is not an issue that causes my husband and me issues as we love them and care for them, but teasing at school has become quite an issue for our son who’s soiling when he started school caused him to be bullied. The girls are older and due to kidney problem they have a weak bladder but with school support they are given special privileges to go to the toilet when they need to which keeps their accidence to a minimum.
I was introduced to Sally through a friend and over time she gained a good overview of our family circumstances and offered to help. She explained how her none intrusive therapy worked plus how she would support the children and us through the process. All felt very safe for us so we made an appointment to visit Sally in the lovely peaceful setting of her practice. We prepared the children by explaining where we would be going and told them about Sally and how she worked. So off we all went a little nervously to Tuxford with plenty of changes of underwear for all three children along with the addition thought that we had nothing to loose as a family and maybe something to gain from this experience.
Sally was so welcoming and allowed the children to lead us in their own time answering lots questions with endless patience until all three felt as comfortable as possible with the setting and her.
The children were told a story about the Soul Bird by Sally
“Deep down, inside our bodies, lives the soul. No one has ever seen it, but we all know it's there. There is a soul bird who lives inside us all. This special bird opens and closes the drawers of our soul, in which we keep all our feelings”.
All three we mesmerized and totally engaged with this bird. I believe in hindsight, the story helped them feel that for once maybe their emotions and feeling would not be intruded on. As every other professional they had been to see wanted to know what caused their trauma first before treatment causing them to become distressed.
Sally had sort of promised not to take them back to nasty places and would help them without them having to tell her their secrets. She introduced her tapping bear with multi coloured buttons sewn in all the tapping places which they all loved. We made plans to choose buttons for their favourite teddy bears so that they could create their very own tapping bears.
I held them all like a baby as one at a time Sally asked them to think of a time that had made them feel sad, scared, first showed them how to tap on themselves and measure how big that emotion was with their arms in a fun way. Then Sally tapped each of them on all the points using positive words like a mantra until each feeling had been dealt with and their hands came together. At no time did the children feel distressed and all three walked away from their therapy session quite happily.
The journey home was stopped after fifteen minutes as our son soiled himself and we changed him before we continued. This was the last time he soiled himself in this way to this day. However, he has had wetting and soiling accidents occasionally but for the usual reason any little boy has this mishaps, playing on his DS for example. His confidence has grown and now when his emotions get the better of him he asked me to help him tap with him until he is back in control. The girls also tap when they need help with controlling their emotions and as parents we have seen a significant change in their behaviour and moods. They can communicate with us using language we all understand when expressing their feelings without needing to give us reasons. They seem relieved which in turn has made them freer to express themselves.
The depth of the pit of badness our children are still dealing with seems endless. However, each new bit of nuclear waste that surfaces is now manageable for them, it is no less distressing but they can control how they feel. This empowerment is helping them become healthier individuals and our joint journey is going to be smoother thank to Sally and her help now and in to our future.